A Farewell Letter From Andi

A moment in the life of Andi & Vincent O’Day, May 2020 by Dan O’Day

My Dearest Friends, Beloved Brands, and Mrs Frays -
 
This season of life has been for Amy and I what it has been for many of you: bizarre, a forced break, and an opportunity for introspection about life as a whole. We wouldn't normally opt in for slowing down in this business, as we have been required to lately, and it's made us reel in amazement at what's happened over the past 10 months that our doors at Mrs Fray have been open.
 
What Amy and I have in common as businesswomen and friends is our tendency to barrel forward without thinking too heavily about the 'what if's' - and in this business it has gifted us greatly. Following an instinct first to pop ups, then jumping ahead steps to founding a shop in 18 short months has thrown us on a phenomenal ride that neither of us saw coming. Amy relocated her life from Sydney to start this business with me and took risk after worthy risk to make it happen.
 
When the plans were being made for pop up number two, I was getting progressively more pregnant with our son Vincent, and along the way all I could say was, "If you want to move forward with the pop up plan, you do you, but I will be focusing on pushing this baby out of my body." Turns out that the pop up landed three weeks after said pushing, and teeny tiny Vincent acted as my plus one to the parts of the weekend I could attend. 
 
Directly afterward, Amy saw the load of potential waiting for us in the establishment of a brick and mortar store, and moved full steam ahead to make it happen —much of it on her own— as I tried to navigate the uncharted and terrifying territory of new motherhood. And thus, Mrs Fray opened its doors in July 2019. 
 
A month later, my husband and I made the unexpected but imperative decision to buy a new house large enough to move my husband's parents in with us, and take on their full time care as both their health waned. This too was a decision that we weren't able to take much time to consider before knowing it was the right thing for us to do.
 
Since opening, Amy and I have watched momentum grow and grow at the rapid pace we'd hoped for, yet still marvel at the velocity of. It’s a thing we had hoped the Canberra bridal market was wishing for, and you've helped us realise this reality the entire time we’ve been open. Time after time, we’ve enjoyed afternoons with bubbles and hopeful brides, loving the relaxed expressions on their faces instead of the anxiety they were expecting to face. We're so proud that we are able to provide this for the very deserving women of Canberra, and so thankful to you all for helping us make this dream a reality.
 
During isolation life, it was imperative that I step back from the business almost entirely as I turned my focus inward at home to care for my three vulnerable dependents. As Amy has classically done, she's stepped up without hesitation and ran our business on behalf of us both (no small feat, and one that I will never be able to thank her enough for). 
 
As perspective has shifted focus into greater clarity for many of us during this time, I've had the time and space to look at every area of my life and wonder what things will look like for us on the other side of the garbage fire of 2020. In doing so, I realised that my love language of over-commitment had put my name in the hat for 3-too-many overwhelming roles in life at the moment, and as such, I was only giving the 20% of myself that I could to any one facet. I was living in a constant state of overwhelm and anxiety in both business and family life, never able to gather any excess off the top to give myself time to rest.
 
So, burn out does what it does best and it crash tackled me to the ground.
 
Even though I was giving a mere fraction of what Amy was to the business, I was unable to give any more and I was in a perpetual state of exhaustion. So I had a good ‘ole band meeting with myself, and while everyone else seemed to be enjoying learning how to bake bread and reorganising their closets on social media, I started reorganising my life.
 
It led me to make the decision to step back from Mrs Fray and hand over the reins to its rightful caretaker, Amy. The truth about my life for the foreseeable future is that I've been called to care for vulnerable humans of a few different varieties, and it is a task that I neither can take lightly or work at any less than 24 hours a day. It's not fair to hold stakes in this beautiful business, with my name on the door, when it's something I'm not able to give my heart or my work to for now. So, Mrs Fray will be turned over to the incredibly capable and deserving hands of Amy Farrell.
 
Amy and I thought it best that this decision was explained, as often in a partnership structure it is assumed that there's some grand or dramatic falling out when the dynamic changes in the business. For us, there was just a life direction change for me and a clarification of forward paths that were different for us both.
 
I'm so grateful to Amy for her consistent passion for this business, insane work ethic, and genuinely kind and beautiful heart, and have no doubt that the past 18 months have shaken out the way they have for a whole host of reasons. I look forward to watching eagerly for what earth shattering way she's going to continue to provide for the brides of Canberra, as she'll carry onward with changing the face of what we know to be 'bridal' in our humble capital. I'm so thankful for this ride and this experience and I can't wait to see what happens next.
 
All my love for all of you,
 
x Andi O'Day